Healing Relationship Issues

Is healing possible in our relationship?  What would our healthy relationship look and sound like?

Life is really all about relationships; we can hardly exist without them. And that is why relationships are sometimes the solution, and other times the problem.

Living in this modern world we are forging a new way more than we realize. And when it comes to relationships, there are new challenges facing us and few places to turn for guidance. The traditional roles of the past are no longer as prevalent – and we luckily have more freedoms these days. But there’s also a price to pay, for society’s structures and norms make it clear how we are supposed to act. Therefore, while we are free to just be ourselves in this free society, knowing how to build and maintain relationships isn’t always easy.

To a large extent we have to depend on other people to meet our needs and it’s hard to negotiate relationships all on one’s own. Doing this can cause people to burn out; they become frustrated because they think they are self-aware, communicative and fair, but modern relationships are really challenging. We all have our own secret, inner worlds and have to communicate them, which is hard because you can’t literally show someone your emotion. There’s the working on our own internal state, and then communicating our needs and desires to someone else. Yet there’s still another component: How they respond.

As humans we have a myriad of relationships in our lives. They can include personal relationships with family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. We have relationships related to our business lives with employees, suppliers, and other companies. Sometimes we have relationships that are legal in nature and could include lawyers, judges, courts, defendants and plaintiffs. In any and all types of relationships problems can develop and we can feel powerless to change or improve these relationships. Well, since all relationships are essentially energy we do have the ability to remove the negativity or energetic charge from these “problem” relationships. The first thing that helps to create relationships that are in our highest wellbeing is to clear our own energy field. When we find ourselves in a particularly difficult relationship, we can’t clear other people’s fields without their permission, which could be a challenge to obtain, however we can clear the negative energies or energetic charge from the relationship that could be affecting a mutually beneficial resolution to the problem at hand.

Sometimes – well, most times – there’s pain in a relationship.

And sometimes, things can become so fragile and hard to navigate that irreparable cracks surface, and the relationship becomes broken.

You might feel confused, afraid, alone, deeply saddened, or betrayed. You might want to give up and move on, or you may want to stay. And those are all normal, natural, valid feelings to have when a relationship is at its breaking point. But regardless of how it looks and feels to you, brokenness sucks. There’s no denying it.

When you’re in the middle of any sort of relationship crisis, the very last thing you want to do is let go. Conflict with someone you love often makes you want to do the very opposite, especially when the other person is already doubting the future of the relationship.

When we’re feeling threatened by the loss of someone we love, we act from a place of fear. Our stress hormones skyrocket as we react with our fight or flight instinct. Suddenly we hold tighter, talk more, do more, and think of nothing else.

However, with a little space and hindsight, it is easy to see this sort of intensity around a negative situation only works to amplify the anger and resentment that both parties being feel.

When you are mid-crisis and fighting though, it is very hard to see that the very thing you are doing to try and resolve the situation is actually making everything far worse.

All relationships are based on Energy. Positive relationships reflect intimacy in every aspect of togetherness: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. The energy of a loving couple in an intimate relationship blends in a harmonious way, allowing love and good emotions to flow between them easily and freely.

Conversely, when a couple is in a poor relationship, arguing and fighting, the energy fields don’t blend and flow. They actually clash and repel, manifesting as even more painful friction.

Spiritual Healing utilizes esoteric techniques to disintegrate the negative thoughts and emotions of couples. This helps empower individuals to react less to negative energies, while promoting good energy to flow freely between both partners in a relationship.

The next step is to increase intimacy. Often couples fail to understand that intimacy is about more than sex. When intimacy exists only in the physical body, it tends to fade when the physical body changes.

The same is true on an emotional level. When emotions change, so does the intimacy. The heart chakras of two people have to be highly activated and in tune to each other to form a “heart connection”. This energetic method makes loving each other “effortless”.

On the mental level, people often put their partner’s faults and weakness under a “microscope” rather than focusing on the positive traits. An easy technique is to mentally enhance the positive qualities your partner has, no matter how small.

From a spiritual standpoint, it is important that the energy fields of two people in a relationship merge together. When we project love, love is projected back to us. We have the Power to literally harness energy to create positive effects and invoke healing in our relationships.

There are ways to recapture the positive energy and loving feelings. Sometimes unhealthy patterns become endless negative circles.  There is a way out.

First, decide if you want to stay in the relationship.  You may feel unsure and confused, with part of you hopeless, and another part of you remembering how good it can be.  Also, there may be cycles of good times, bad times and when it is good, you want to stay, but you tire of the roller coaster up and downs.  Can you create a positive change if the other feels therapy is useless and you come by yourself?  Yes.  When one party can see a new perspective, learn about  destructive patterns of fighting or withdrawing that are common and correctable and not always about the personality or character of either person….CHANGE IS POSSIBLE.

Often,  relationships suffer from stressful illnesses, complexities with children or relatives, different expectations of how to have a healthy relationship, or losses.  When going through stressful periods, without awareness depression or anxiety in one person has a strong negative impact on the relationship. Since most people are often usually strong and able to solve their own problems, a person may only be aware of “not feeling like my usual self'” or realizing a feeling of being out of control and not knowing how to regain balance.  Being able to recognize distancing or increasing irritability, loss of desire or other troubles and getting outside help can prevent blaming the person you are with (which frequently feels like the reason for the difficulties…the other person).  Either alone or together with a therapist, you can “put the problem” outside of you or the relationship, look at it in a problem solving way, learn a few new skills (did you ever really have lessons on how to have a healthy relationship?) and transform many troubled relationships into loving, warm, supportive friendships or partnerships.  CLUES FOR TRANSFORMING NEGATIVE PATTERNS INTO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS STYLES ARE LEARNABLE WITHOUT A PERSONALITY REPLACEMENT OPERATION.  Being able to be who you are as an individual, feel appreciated and respected and attractive helps to heal relationships.  Learning how to manage conflicts and fights and how to build on positive strengths of each and of the relationship will help.  Most of all, the laughter needs to resurface and can by learning how to heal old wounds, develop forgiveness and mutual support, and how to give each other feedback without it seeming like criticism or attack.

We would like for all of our relationships to be positive and to get what we want or need from them. The purpose of removing the negative energies attached to any relationship is not to create a specific outcome. However it does help to influence the process in a positive way which could affect the results so that they are more aligned with the highest good for all.