Healing Breakup Of Romantic Relationship & Cord Attachments

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healing break up relationships

Healing Breakup Of Romantic Relationship & Cord Attachments

Increasingly, I hear from people who have had a romantic breakup, complaining about bad energy leftover from the relationship. Not infrequently, the person who contacts me has a distressing and obsessive fixation on the previous love interest, even though it was an unhealthy and damaging relationship.

Not withstanding the important psychological aspects of romantic obsession, a romantic union—emotional and sexual—is not just about an attachment between bodies and personalities, but is equally about auric, energetic entwining. In other words, it is about the entanglement of spiritual energy.

While the psychological aspects of obsessive fixations and thoughts certainly need to be taken into account, this is an article that deals with spiritual energy entanglement which is a very important factor since it is rarely recognized and always present.

What many people fail to realize is that all romantic relationships start out with a lighted fuse! This fire of passion lights up the backdrop of an artificial stage that confuses non-adaptive players later in the act when the scene goes from bad to worse, when one of the players in the love drama remains stubbornly stuck on the exciting script of the opening act. “He is so wonderful, she is so perfect…he gave me so much attention…he said he loved me…she said she needed me…he texted me every day…she said she loved me…he talked about marriage”…and so on. The problem with these hot romantic fuses is that they are very short and they burn out fast, and when they do, the deteriorating relationship is obvious to everyone but the one who fell for it. All too often, our hopes and fantasies get the better of us and we are “all in”. We don’t use reason or good judgment, we don’t stop to think that the “perfect” beginning of the relationship could be all flash and no substance, certain to go dark as fast as it flared.

Thus, everyone needs to understand that the beginning of a romance is no measure of its merit.

Breaking up hurts, even when the relationship was not healthy in the first place. Why does it hurt so much? This is because, when we separate, we are literally breaking up cords of attachment. This article is an attempt to make more sense of what is happening when a love relationship ends.

Spiritual experts understands human beings beyond the physical and psychological realities claim that our physical bodies are surrounded with an energy field of colors called the “aura”. They also talk about a network of cords linking people to each other.

If you are skeptical about auras and cords of attachment, consider those concepts from a symbolic point of view only. It will help you understand how relationships work and why breaking up is painful.

Each time we have any kind of relationship with someone, either good or bad, we create a new cord of energy with this person. The first people with whom we develop such connections are our parents. As we grow up, we use these cords as models to build relationships with other people. This is one of the reasons why we tend to re-create with our life partners the type of relationships we had with our mother or father.

When two people fall in love, they form beautiful cords of loving energy. Even if in front of other people they are pretending to ignore each other, those cords are still making a link between the lovers. The more interactions two people have, the more cords they create. Naturally, depending on the quality of the interactions, some cords are healthy, while others are not.

In intimate long-term relationships, the many cords maintain intimacy, trust and understanding, combined with flexibility and freedom from each other. In codependent relationships, the cords serve to uphold dependence and rigidity. If the partners are tied by unhealthy cords, the interactions will be based on habits and are very difficult to change.

So, when we are “attached” to someone, it precisely means that we are tied to this person by many different emotional and spiritual cords. Therefore it is not surprising that when two people get separated by the decision of one to leave, or by death, the parting creates real pain, especially around the solar plexus which, according to aura experts, seems to be the area where we develop most cords. When a separation occurs, people are literally “torn apart” because the cords of attachment have been severed.

When one partner chooses to leave the other, he tries to tear out as many cords as possible. Both partners then experience various degrees of pain and a feeling of being disconnected from many aspects of their lives because of the wound and the void left by all the deep-rooted cords – good or bad – that had been created over time. The place where the cords have been cut is similar to an open injury.

Very often, in an attempt to try to heal too quickly the pain caused by the severed cords, people get involved too soon in another relationship. They develop the same type of connection with someone else with whom they are not familiar. Because they haven’t taken the time to heal first, they tend to re-create the same type of unhealthy relationships with unhealthy cords. Many of these relationships on the rebound don’t last.

When many cords have been damaged by a separation, it can take five to seven years for a couple to let go of the dependency they had in the old relationship.

Knowing what attachment means will hopefully help you make sound decisions when it comes to breaking up. Cords change over time and the beautiful cords of the honeymoon stage may slowly become unhealthy. But with care and understanding, damaged or unhealthy cords can be consolidated and repaired.

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Energetic Cords

Remove the cords that bind.

Energetic cords are fairly passive two-way energetic connections that can drain our energy. They can come from either positive or negative Souls and their effects are very subtle. We can create cords with just about anyone we have a relationship with, whether that be a parent, friend, family member, or even a co-worker.

Cords are usually formed when we create an emotional relationship with another person who is significant in our lives at that time. Just like any other form of negative energy that can affect us, we do have to allow them to be put in place, and we do that by allowing another’s actions to affect us on an emotional level. The mechanism of placement for these is when we respond to another’s actions through an emotional reaction.

The problem with cords is that when they are in place, our energy is not fully our own. Our energy may actually go toward others’ projects, goals, ideas, and outcomes, rather than our own. Cords can also create resentment in the affected relationships because we intuitively know that our energy is being drained by that person, yet we do not know why.

A second type of energetic connection that can drain our energy and cause us even more difficulty is called a hook. The primary difference between a hook and a cord is that cords are much more easily formed than hooks. A cord can come from or go to a parent, a child, a doctor, a teacher, a lover, brother, sister, co-worker… you name it – anyone we have even a semi-significant relationship with. A hook, on the other hand, is placed in our energy body, directly into our chakra system, and comes from either a negative, or a weak and disempowered Soul that does not have the ability to find strength enough within themselves to create and draw on their own sources of energy.

It is truly an act of disempowerment when another Soul places a hook in our energy field, both on their part because they are making the choice to draw on another’s energy, but also on our part by allowing it to be put into place, even though we do this at a subconscious level. Hooks also have ‘programs’ attached to them and that energy is brought directly into our energy field from the hook, having a negative effect on the energy our chakras draw in and send out into the world.

While this sounds like it might be some form of ‘magic’ or a ‘spell’ that is cast on us, I assure you it is not. It is really more about our emotional response to another’s actions that allows the hook to be placed into our energy field. We still have to ALLOW a hook to take hold in our energy field. Just like any other form of negative energy, it simply cannot get there without us allowing it to be placed.

An example of a cord or hook being formed and negatively affecting us might be from an ex-husband or father with whom you do not now or never had a good relationship with. I’ve also seen cords and hooks to individuals who are close friends that someone has had for years, but that friend is a rather weak or disempowered Soul that feels they need to draw on someone else’s energy in order to succeed in their own life. They can even be formed with the teachers that we have had close enough relationships with.

Of course, it would be very hard to say that we should go through life without being emotionally connected to another person, but keep in mind that these connections are not in either Soul’s best interest. The reason for this is that both hooks and cords act as a form of energy theft on the part of the Soul who places them there. Therefore, if you have allowed a cord to enter your energy field from another Soul, you are also allowing that Soul to utilize a portion of your energy. What that means is that you do not have full access to all of your own energy and your energy may even be utilized for another’s projects and ideas, which certainly does not benefit you and your life in achieving your own goals.

Why would we allow such a thing to be done to us?

It often happens when we feel compassion for another Soul who is having a difficult time and so we allow their problems to affect us in negative ways. The important thing to remember the next time you feel compassion for someone else having a tough time is that yes, you can assist them by offering advice and perhaps assistance they need, but if you feel yourself starting to be pulled into their “drama” to the point where you are getting, frustrated, angry, resentful, or having any other emotional reaction, that could very well mean that a hook or cord is being formed and THAT is precisely the time to pull back away from them and stop helping them.

What are energetic cords?

When we meet people, or connect with places, even things, an energetic connection or cord can developed between ourselves and the other people or places. These cords form automatically bonding or binding us to one another at the energetic level. Energetic connections are similar to having a fiber optic cord between ourselves and others. Through these cords or connections energetic information can be shared, or energy can be drawn by one person or the other.


Are they good for us?

There can be hundreds of these energetic cords connected to us.  Many of the energetic cords or connections serve us by helping us stay connected energetically to family, spouses, close friends, our home, past homes, or even favorite vacation places and possessions. Spouses can have many connections at various levels. Theses cords help us to share love when we are not close to one another geographically. We can draw upon one another’s energy when we feel depleted or run down. Since emotions are essentially nothing more than energy, they can be shared through the energetic connections.  Have you ever felt worn out and then by thinking about your loved one feel more energized? Or felt agitated and then seem more peaceful thinking about your spouse, or a friend, wherever they are? There are many connections between children and parents. Love is shared through the energetic connections, even though our actions may seem unlike love. We seem to know when our children are distressed or in some kind of trouble.  There are many ways that these energetic connections serve us. There are even energetic connections or cords however small that connect everyone on this planet.

Can the Cords Be Harmful?

cord cuttingThe energetic cords or connections can have a negative impact on our thoughts and energy levels.  Although these connections can support and help us on our journey, they can also hold us back, drain us unnecessarily or keep us connected to those people and places that no longer serve us. Friends move on, we move to new homes, relationships change and the memories of places we have been no longer support us. Simply put, these connections no longer serve us, or are unnecessary, yet they remain and share information as well as draw upon our energy field. Some people can connect to us even though we would not want them to. Have you ever met someone in the shopping mall, or at the office, or a neighbor that after a few minutes together you feel drained energetically? These people have established cords to your energy field in order to draw upon your energy.  These types of connections do not serve us in any way. They continue to draw our energy without our permission or awareness and can negatively affect our well being.

Freedom from Past Relationships

One of the most common connections that do not serve us and negatively affect our freedom is the energetic connection between spouses, partners or lovers whose relationships have ended. Because of the close connections during the relationship these cords seem to stay in place, continuing to share information and energy. There can be many that people have difficulty with past relationships, however, many people stay “stuck” in the old relationship or have difficulty moving on to new relationships due to these connections still being in place. When energetic cords are still in place the task of moving on becomes more difficult. As our lives shift and change – relationships, jobs, locations where we live – it becomes more important to our well being, success, and freedom to be who we truly are. More important that we sever those cords that bind us unnecessarily to people or places that no longer serve us. Thus, one of the first things we do when conducting a clearing or energetic healing session is to disconnect these cords and heal the places where they were attached to the energy field of the person.

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